Swift, Newsweek and role models

Should childless become clickbait?

Last week Suzan Muir was featured in The Guardian talking about how she met Jon, her husband. Suzy was on an early episode of The Full Stop and it was a ‘pinch me’ moment at the time (especially for Michael, co-presenter and co-founder, who is a fan of Suzy and The Simple Man docu-series).

That’s not me boasting  ( I’m still an introvert with three close friends ) but celebrating the variety and diversity of people we’ve met along the way who include nurses, network leaders, writers, bloggers ... it’s an extraordinary honour to have those conversations and to be considered a friend to many who have been part of The Full Stop.

I forget sometimes that my life is meant to be reduced according to society because my personal circle (which includes parents, childless and childfree and those in the middle) is an uplifting one.

Then Newsweek happened. 

For context, this is click bait (and a disclaimer, I’m not a Swiftie). I’m sure that in reading this, you might want to say ‘chill, Berenice, it’s just them making money through clicks and traffic’. 

That’s very true but it’s also dismissing the targetting of a demographic where grief is present. Newsweek telling the world that we’re all terrible role models for circumstances, physical or medical events that aren’t our fault is extraordinarily hurtful. 

It’s a poor choice of language. Childless are generally perceived to be so involuntarily. Childfree is making a private choice not be a parent. Taylor Swift as far as I know simply hasn’t had children. I hope that’s her life choice to make. 

When it did become acceptable to clickbait non-parents?

It might feel hysterical to complain and waste my words, but it’s a bias we’re subjected to often. The article infers that despite her musical success, Swift is less than a parent. 

The unconscious bias we hear is that our time is less precious, our opinions less important and our lives are not worthy of celebration. Each time the phrase ‘as a mother’ is used when ‘as a human’ is the true meaning or placing parenting as ‘the most important job in the world’. In someone’s private view it might be but often it’s shared loudly and inaccurately. My ‘pronatalism radar’ is not that well tuned in these days (thanks to Important Therapy People whose parental status is unknown) picks up at least a bias three times a week. 

It isn’t everyone’s view but someone will believe it, just as some people think Nigel Farage has morals and that the climate crisis is very hot weather*.

If Swift isn’t a great role model, what hope is there for the rest of us? 

A lot as it happens. 

I have an extraordinary friendship group that include famous childless people, friends doing incredible jobs in nursing and creating networks, living around us and others in isolated spaces. All genders, with no barries to race, age, sexuality. 

Citing who should be a role model to the next generation is dictatorial, and whilst I might be feeling pissed about this, I can’t help think of those who read this trash and turn off Swift’s music, and steer their children from childless/free people. Just goes to show that those who get to be parents, aren’t necesary qualified to be so.

*my personal views